Backwards and Forwards

The experience of creating this website may go down as one of my greatest learning experiences. I resisted the idea of having a site for years, thinking all kinds of convincing inaccurate thoughts. This sophisticated form of procrastination allowed me to reconcile not taking the steps required to make it happen i.e. not taking stock of my achievements and non-achievements. I also knew that I didn’t have the marketing and technical skills required for the task. I thought that perhaps I would just wait for the day that I miraculously woke up and had somehow acquired this expertise from the I-Cloud or facsimile!

After several false starts, I asked a creative tornado artist friend of mine if she knew a good website designer who might work with me. When she recommended one, I made a spontaneous decision to contact him. He suggested I pull together A, B and C, and then we would go from there – in stages. In my naivete, I gathered together what I thought would be a comprehensive collection of goodies. I thought I would then just need to select some photos from my library and he would, within a very short time, design and mechanically render the site, and then we’d launch. I must have appeared like a virgin sprinter who thought she’d be going the distance for gold in a few fleeting months!

I hadn’t considered the importance of taking serious stock of my accomplishments or immersing myself in a retrospective of my art. During that process of assessment, I marveled at some of my achievements, but I simultaneously cringed at the gaps where I had failed to accomplish or produce what I might have done. I realized how many hours, days, months, (years?) I had logged and wasted with useless worry and inaction. In confronting this realization, I stoked the fire that fueled this endeavor and gained insights I never anticipated – including:

• The inexplicable energy derived from human contributions
• The value of patience and expert guidance – i.e. from my website guru
• The importance of celebrating my strengths and accomplishments
• The need to confront my weaknesses
• A reminder that extraordinary possibilities await, if we just take that first step…
• That the acquisition of knowledge should be an ongoing quest – the rewards are life affirming and spiritual
• The tide of life ebbs and flows – we need to reach out for opportunities or risk being caught in the destructive riptide of apathy or inaction
• Once you imagine your mission, or dream your dream, you set a gathering downhill speed phenomenon in motion

So in keeping with my track record of spontaneous decisions, calculated choices, random happenings and peculiar luck – I now have a website! In so doing, I experienced the exhilaration that comes from human connection, the dynamism resulting from creative collaboration, and the fulfillment and joy that comes from hard work! I would like to offer this trio of wisdom to you. But most of all, I learned (or reinforced what I already knew deep down) that not only do you have to take that first step to action, but sometimes you have to go backwards in order to go forwards!

Much kudos (a singular word I just discovered – therefore much, not many) and thanks to all those who contributed to this dynamic effort.

And…Abundant Praise for Mark Frankel, my website guru
http://arroyodesign.com for the creation of Martha’s Muse.