Ties That Bind & The Golden Thread

The ties that bind us to life are tougher than you imagine, or than any one can who has not felt how roughly they may be pulled without breaking.
– Anne Brontë

Swept into the celebrations of the holiday season, I marvel at the ties that bind but simultaneously get all tangled up in them. No, I’m not referring to ribbons and bows or John Fawcett’s hymn Blest Be the Tie That Binds, not Pedro Almodovar’s dark romantic comedy Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! or Bruce Springsteen’s new box set Ties That Bind: The River Collection. I mean the ties that blind. Ties that bind of a certain kind that may simply reside in the mind. 

I’m not wild about being bound to anything and wonder if when I reach the finale of this meditation inquiry I will figure out this puzzle and attain some measure of enlightenment. Oh I’ve tied and untied knots all right. I can snug one up that’s tough to undo and I can also slip a knot like a Houdini protégé. Without mercy, I’ve tugged on ties that bind, yet they still hold tight. Yes, ties of blood and kin, rings and vows, nature and nurture, chemistry and consciousness. But what’s that illusive, unbreakable thread that weaves and wanders, beckons and binds? Perhaps it exists only in the imagination. Or is it the imagination?

More than anything, that’s been the thread through my life – the desire to write, the impulse to write. I mean, it’s taken me other places, but it was the impulse to write that led me to singing.
–Patti Smith

I know ties that bind transcend the boundary of distance, margins of culture, life and death, love and loss. But the golden thread eludes my grasp. Surely when you find the beginning loop or end knot and pull it taut, you will be in control of its destiny. You will be able to link it where you like it, I reason. But reason seldom solves a dilemma, at least in the embryonic stage. Perhaps instinct for insight?

For sure some ties might be worth the bind – a relationship, kinship, a romantic arrangement, the land or a place. But reason informs me of the connotations of the verb to bind and I’m already claustrophobic. When I escape such rigid logic I’m free to be connected –ties that bind without being bound.

The moment of creative impulse is what an artist gives you. You look at a Pollock, and it can’t give you the tools to do a painting like that yourself, but in doing the work, Pollock shares with you the moment of creative impulse that drove him to do that work.
– Patti Smith

Ah, I’m sneaking up on the golden thread – enough to realize ties can outlast eternity and ties that bind remain invisible. Creativity knows no bounds. Yet it took an image I just glanced at (well more like lingered) on my second screen to transport me to a place, a time, a moment, a relationship and bring to life the magic of an illusive tie that binds. And binds and won’t let go. Now you see it – now you don’t!

So during this festive season of making merry, giving thanks, family and friends, you could probably tighten up a few loose ties and some could stand a snip. But don’t succumb to mind bondage – honor the genuine ties that bind.

As you glimpse the edge of dawn from your window or peer into the inky night sky, be on the lookout for the golden thread. May you find peace, love, joy and creativity this holiday. And twinkling stars light years away.

Everyone has a creative impulse, and has the right to create, and should.
– Patti Smith